I just came home. Drenched and cold. Do you ever have those days where you just need to go for a walk? yup.. well maybe when its nice weather. It was pouring but I still went. Jacket on, non-waterproof shoes on, headphones in and of I went. I knew where I was going. I was going to one of my favorite places, the garden. Many of you might know where it is but I don’t really tell many people. Many.. as in 1. The good thing about going for walks in the rain is that no one is around. Its peaceful. The sound of the rain is peaceful and my music makes me happy. I can sing aloud till my hearts content and that’s what I did. I just needed to think and have space to think and to pray. I had a little outburst at God this evening.. I said to him “God, do you know how much I want to go to IHOP Uni?! Can you not just show me what to do!”
Your probably a tad confused at the moment? Well, IHOP is the International House Of Prayer in Kansas city, America. America!! They have a University which includes an Academy of Ministry, an Academy of Music and others.
Academy of Music… where you don’t need to be a certain level to attend.. ‘FMA (Forerunner Music Academy) is geared to take the one who knows nothing to being able to be proficient in the instrument they choose.’ Perfect. More than perfect. They have such a heart for their students. To help people influence the world. Because we are more powerful than we think we are in Christ.
You guys know how much I love music and how much I want to try my hardest to pursue music. Its the thing that scares me most. Getting up there and leading worship. I can’t harmonize to save my life so I prefer leading.. My friend once said to me ‘If God wasn’t with you, He wouldn’t give you the last bit of courage to get up there and do it.’ I worry and worry and then when I’m actually worshiping it is my favorite place in the whole world. Seriously. I love it more than I’m scared of it and I never want to leave. Its actually quite difficult to worship while you lead. That’s something I need to work on too and I really want to go to IHOP to learn, to discover and to grow in a country I never stop talking about. Like ever.
I just don’t know.. I mean, maybe God does want me to pursue Music but maybe its not at IHOP. It would be awesome if it was but I am struggling to figure out what to do. I mean, Gods going to have to hurry up because if I do go to IHOP then I’ll need to start fundraising extremely soon. God always provides though so I shouldn’t worry about that. I just want to know whether its the right thing because ‘God doesn’t plant a desire in someones heart that he doesn’t plan to fulfill.’ Right?
I can’t remember all the encouraging things people have said to me.. but some are:
” You are going to influence the world.” (this one.. I was like, wow. I was really really young when someone told me this at church so that is just the gist of what she said to me. How am I going to influence the world? through music or something else?)
“I can tell your a musician. You sing everywhere.”
“You really blessed me with that song.”
“I can tell you have a real desire for it and your heart is in the right place for it.”
And, I only have the guitar I have because the person that gave it to me felt that God wanted him to give it to me..
So, these are my prayers just now. Please pray for clarity and provision in the way God leads me. Thank you my lovelies.