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Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway.

04 Wednesday Mar 2015

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accompnimant, Acoustic Guitar, afraid, Anxiety, cafe, church, Coffee, control, emotions, Encouragment, exam, examiner, faith, fear, feel the fear and do it anyway, flyer, friends, funding, fundraiser, God, guitar, health, helping others, higher music, hopes and dreams, inspiration, inspire, life, live music fundraiser, loving heart, Mental Health, Mission Trip, music, Musical, musicians, nervous, organisation, organising, performance, piano, practical exam, qoute, Raffle, respond rwanda, Rwanda, school, singing, sqa, storms, storms in life, strength, Summer, teacher, urban saints, Voice, worship

Most of the time, this is the best advice you can give. For me anyway, I don’t know about others. But saying ‘You’ll be fine’ doesn’t make sense to me because there’s no way of knowing that but to just be fearful but do it anyway is so truthful. 

Because yesterday I had my music practical prelim. 
And as much as I tried to fine, I totally wasn’t. And some people might not understand how difficult it is to spend all do your free time working towards something and being totally prepared but as soon as I walk into the exam room, I just can not control my emotions. As much as I try too. And it’s the most frustrating thing because it feels like all my work and practice is for nothing. 
However, even though my head was literally shaking at first, the first 2 songs on Guitar went fine 🙂 but then I totally messed up the next one.. My hands were so shaky that I couldn’t pluck the strings. And I couldn’t control it and I didn’t know what to do. So that didn’t go so well. Then I finished with a song that redeemed me a bit. Then voice… Oh man. The first song,  I burst into tears with in the first few words. The examiner said that I could have a break. So I went outside to bawl my eyes out for a while and catch my breath. My teacher came as well to see if I was okay. I don’t know if I’ll get marked down for having to have a break but I literally couldn’t sing. Or breath for that matter. So then I came back and the first song I sang, my voice was pretty shaky but it went okay. 
 And then I totally nailed the last song. 
I sang loud and did dynamics and I managed to sing the three notes at the end which I was really struggling with for the entire year because I have to sing super loud to be able to hit the notes. That was the first time I sang it right in front of anyone which is probably why Mr Ross (my music teacher) was having a party to himself afterwards aha! And the examiner was proud of me to come back and do that. 
I was so glad it was over. 
Well the performance was over but I was still so overwhelmed. I cried for ages afterwards. It was probably partly because I was sad that I messed up quite a lot but most was probably being so overwhelmed. I am so glad it’s over. But I wish I could just perform like I can do when I’m in my little practice room by myself or together with the rest of my music class. It’s so annoying! I hope I’ll get there one day though. 
On the plus side, it’s like a ritual for the teacher to give you a cream egg once you’ve finished your exam. Which is fabulous.
On a happier note, my friend very kindly made me this flyer for the fundraiser I am organising for my trip to Rwanda this summer. It’s so pretty, isn’t it? 


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Reading Your Dreams.

16 Monday Feb 2015

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Acrylic Ad Meter Allgemein Art Articles Beauty Bez kategorii Blog Books Business Canada Crime Culture Design Education Entertainment Europe Events FTW... Faith Family Fashion Featured Fiction Fitness , advice, America, Anxiety, art, bad omen, beauty, believe, Blogger, books, chasing dreams, chasing your dreams, chating, communication, confidence, content, creating, death dreams, Dream, emotions, exam, fashion, fear, fear of exposure, feelings, fitness, Fleur, fleurdeforce, flying, focus, follow your dreams, followers, freedom, friends, google, hair, health, health and fitness, health issues, insecurity, lack of confidence, life, life goals, love, meaning of dreams, mental illness, mentality, motivation, negative, negative thoughts, network, omen, passion, positive thinking, positivity, power, puplic humiliation, Reading your dreams, relationship, research, school, self confidence, self denial, self esteem, social, style, style haul, subscribers, thoughts, tips, travel, trsut issues, trust, video, video editing, vulnrability, waterstones, whsmith, wordpress, Youtube, youtube and blogging

Today I bought a book by one of the Youtubers who’s videos I have been watching for years. Fleur released a book this month and it makes me really proud actually. There are a lot of chapters on different topics but as I was flicking through, I found a small chapter called ‘Reading Your Dreams’. Now, I am in no way confirming that anything written is something I have researched but I thought it was interesting because after I read it I found some that apply to me. Most of the time I don’t really pay attention to my dreams but I am always confused as to why we get them. Here is what the chapter says about some of the most common dreams people have:

” Death dreams have a variety of different influences and potential meanings. A lot of the time they signify a change in your life. Pay attention to who or what is dying in your dream, as it often signifies the loss of something associated with that person. Death dreams can actually be quite positive, and signify the need to move on from certain issues or influences in your life. Most importantly, don’t take death dreams too literally, or associate them with a bad omen.

Being chased in your dreams can signify anxiety in your life. It’s important to focus on who is chasing you and why. Chasing dreams are often linked to avoidance, fear of something, or self-denial (the latter especially so if you are running away from yourself).

Falling dreams are usually closely linked to a current situation or feeling in your life, rather than something more deeply rooted. It might be an insecurity or a loss of control. Don’t be surprised or worried by falling dreams if you are going through a stressful time in your life, as they can often be directly attributed to feelings of instability and a lack of confidence.

Flying dreams are often amongst the best dreams and are usually positive experiences. Flying above things can signify moving on or getting over obstacles in your life and achieving freedom from things that hold you back I often have dreams about struggling to get off the ground, managing to fly for a few meters but coming quickly back down to the ground. While this is a fairly common occurrence in dreams, it can be frustrating and tends to signify lack of confidence or motivation.

Exam dreams are another of the most common and can often occur when you have no upcoming actual test in your life. They usually signify nervousness, a fear of failure or a lack of confidence for an upcoming challenge, whatever form it may take. The main focus during exam or test dreams should be the process rather than the content of the test itself. Try to focus on the experience of being tested, rather than what’s in the test in order to pinpoint the source of the issue.

Cheating dreams are very common and usually stem from low self-esteem or trust issues in a relationship. Ty to identify why you might feel at risk from your partner cheating. Often it might be due to lack of attention or other issues in your relationship, but a lot of the time it stems from simple insecurity.

Naked dreams often represent insecurity, fear of exposure, vulnerability, falling short of your goals or being unprepared for a task at hand.

Teeth dreams are also fairly common. Dreams in which you are losing your teeth often signify an underlying insecurity about your looks or fears of public embarrassment, but also communication problems or feelings of powerlessness or concern over health issues.”

I just found this extremely interesting because although I don’t know a lot about the topic and although I don’t base my life around my dreams or necessarily pay that much attention to my dreams, there are two recent dreams that I can’t get out of my head so reading this just allowed me to understand them a little bit. The ones that apply to me are the Death dreams ( have a variety of different influences and potential meanings. A lot of the time they signify a change in your life. Pay attention to who or what is dying in your dream, as it often signifies the loss of something associated with that person. Death dreams can actually be quite positive, and signify the need to move on from certain issues or influences in your life. Most importantly, don’t take death dreams too literally, or associate them with a bad omen.)  and the Being chased ( in your dreams can signify anxiety in your life. It;s important to focus on who is chasing you and why. Chasing dreams are often linked to avoidance, fear of something, or self-denial (the latter especially so if you are running away from yourself).dreams which are dreams that I would call nightmares and I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare like that so it startle me a little bit.

Fleur Fleurdeforce

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