Think About It.

Tags

Addiction, Feeling Worthy, inspire, Inspirtation, Material Possesstions, Money, Poem, Worthlessness

Where do you find your worth?

Where do you think your identity lies?

sigh.

Material possessions? Relationships? Addiction? Religion? Money?

Think about it.

If someone were to describe you, are you who you want to be? Are you happy with how you would be conceived, believed?

Material Possessions.

‘ Material things simply can not fill our aching void, rather they leave us wanting more.’

Meaningless Relationships.

‘ Refuse to be somebody’s sometimes.’ 

Broken Families. Broken Promises.

‘Maybe it’s not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better.’

I know it all to well – the feeling of worthlessness. It’s one of the worst feelings you can feel in this world. You feel sick with hurt. You feel purposeless. You feel like nothing. You can’t stand up because the world is pushing you down to the ground.

How do you bring yourself back up? How?

Do you repeat what got you there in the first place? That’s the natural reaction, isn’t it? Because you think it might work this time. It doesn’t though.

Find your worth in something everlasting.

Find your worth. It’ll save your life.

 

” So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up , quite wonderfully if only you were interested in them. “
– Sylvia Plath

 

 

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My Weakness.

Tags

Author, express, family, friends, life, lyrics, Poem, Poem writing, weakness, words, writer, writing

I want to be your weakness.

Will you be vulnerable with me, let me see.
It’s ok, you can let me in.

You’re my weakness.

In the best way.

I’d do just about anything for you to lace your fingers in mine,
trace imaginary lines on my skin and whisper to me
that we’ll manage some how.

Are you being oblivious?

Or is it true? You don’t want me and you?

You speak about the places you’ve been, the things you’ve seen, your family, your friends. I could listen to you until the world ends.

The sound of your voice is a comfort to be in.

I want to learn everything.

Will you let me in?

Or is it true?

You don’t want me and you

do you?

Obsessive Questions.

Tags

Anxiety, Anxious, art, emotion, express, expressive, fear, life, lyrics, Mental Health, mental illness, mind, obsessive, Panic Attack, panic disorder, Poem, relate, rhyme, social, Social anxiety, song, songwriting, state of mind, symptoms, technique, worry

I wish I had eyes on the back of my head, to feel unread.

I tense every time I walk in front of someone and they’re laughing with their friends.
I wonder what they’ve said.

“Are they laughing at me?”
“Can they see?”
“Do I look out of place and in a state?”

Of course. I’m out of place.

Why am here.

Let me disappear.

I can feel the hairs prick up on my neck.
I can hear my heart racing to the sound of my pacing.

“Are they staring at me?”
“What are they thinking?”

I hope I don’t see them again.
I’ll probably see them in ten.

They hate the way I look.

My eyes fill with tears needing to get out of here.
What if I have a panic attack and see me thinking I’m dying.

Wait, I recognise the voice. My friend?

She’d never want me to shed a tear.

Its my mind, my social anxiety that imprisons me in my fear.

Oh. Dear.

Another Nightmare? Another Nightmare.

Tags

alone, Anxiety, Anxious, art, consciene, control, creative, creativity, darkness, description, distress, dreaming, dreams, emotions, experience, express, expressive, fear, feelings, life, lyrics, mind, Night Terror, Nightmare, panic, panic attacks, photography, Poem, pounding heart, psyche, Questions, relate, reoccurring nightmare, repeated actions, symptoms, terror, words, writing

My eyes dart open in panic.

I can hear my heart pounding in my chest.

I can sense my distress.

Is it real?

Questions fly through my mind as I try to figure out why I feel so blind. Its dark.

Another nightmare?

It almost feels as though I’m still dreaming
but as I try to focus my eyes, I can see the outline of my bedside vines. I tilt my head to find my alarm I’ve double checked a hundred times.

3am.

Another nightmare.

As soon as I feel my shaking, sweating, slippery skin, I know.

Reoccurring dreams of my worst fear. This happens a lot, I should know.  Why does it feel so near? Why is the terror so clear?

I’ve never experienced it but its always in my mind. Lurking, like it could jump out at any given time. My conscience won’t let me forget the things I dream when I’m alone, on my own, it’s out of my control.

Another nightmare.

Pick It Up Or Leave It.

Tags

choice, Descriptive, emotions, expression, heart, life, lyrics, Poem, story, writing

Tears tumble from my face as I stumble into my room and fall straight to the floor.

I’ve been holding it back.

I shut the door.

Suddenly I feel more trapped than I was before.

The four pale walls consume my every being and I curl into a ball with the weight of them.

I feel weak, diseased and like my heart, once again, fell to the floor as I mourned over the loss of something I thought I had.

I had two choices, whether to pick it up or leave it. I left it. I just did what I did last time, tried to ignore it. I tried to drown it. My heart, I mean.

Mistaken Tragedy (First Draft)

Tags

acheivement, artist, beauty, blindness, college, college life, creativity, darkness, economy, fear, illusion, judgement, love, lyrics, mind, music, musician, Personality, Poem, songwriter, songwriting, student, techniques, theme, world, writing

I thought I would share my first draft of a song I’ve started to write for my songwriting class. It’s called Mistaken Tragedy ( I think ) and in class we were given the theme of “Night” to work with. The song didn’t have to even include the word but I have to be able to justify what the song is about with this theme. Makes sense? Right? I’m not going to tell you what it’s about yet. I’ll see if you can guess and I’ll enlighten you at the end. It won’t be what you think it is. Anyway, here it goes:

“All you think I see is the darkness, 
a mistaken tragedy.
The world perceives light as a date and time 
but for me, its my state of mind. 

I haven’t lost my mind
my happiness isn’t defined by money and riches or questions and possessions 
don’t feel sorry for me, I can see the beauty in personality.
I can sense the fear or dread in somebody next to me and that’s more important.
We’re not just part of the economy, are we? 
There’s more to me than what you see.

Don’t be fooled by the illusion you think you’ve understood like finding your 
way out of your overcast vision.
You’ll excel at something good with effort and precision. 
You see, I’m not oblivious, I feel misunderstood.

Is there an artist who created you and me? because I can still see the beauty in something the world dramatically deceives and believes.”

What do you think it’s about?
Maybe you think it’s about there being more to life than money? Or that people can achieve more than they think they can? Or that this person feels judged by the world? (Partly correct)

It’s actually about a blind person. The person speaking in the song is blind but she is trying to get a point across to the world that although she can’t physically see light, she isn’t in darkness. She doesn’t want to be treated differently to anybody else because her mind is one of the colorful places even though she can’t see color in the way we do.

So yea, that’s that! I have songwriting class in about an hour. I’m not sure whether we’ll be working on these or not but tell me what you think.

Much love,

Lisa